Frequently Asked Questions

Teen-Related Issues:

• What is the real story about alcohol? Is it really bad for you?
• Why do some young people become depressed?
• All my friends smoke, what is the big deal about it anyway?
• I want to talk to my parents about sex, how do I start the conversation? What should we discuss?
• Which sex acts could result in pregnancy? Which will not?
• When are teens ready to date?

Website/Technical Issues:

• I have a suggestion for the site. Where do I go?
• How old do I have to be to use the website?
• Where can I review TeenlineOhio's Terms and Conditions?
• Your website is awesome! Can I link to your site? Will you link to mine?

Teen-Related Issues:

Q: What is the real story about alcohol? Is it really bad for you?
A: Alcohol is the number one drug of choice for teens, but it is also extremely dangerous. For instance, teens that drink are more likely to have a car crash, get into a fight, have unsafe sex, or experience problems in school. The problem of youth substance abuse is often blamed on their inability to "just say no." The reality is young people constantly get mixed messages from adults and their community.

Following are some facts to keep in mind:

• Alcohol use affects health. For instance, when abused, it can damage every body organ. It also affects the brain and self control.
• It is against the law for anyone under 21 to use or possess alcohol.
• Underage drinkers face up to a $1,000 fine.
• In Ohio, a teen who is driving a motor vehicle can be stopped and tested for alcohol. If there is even one drop of alcohol in the youth's system, his or her driver's license can be revoked.
• In Ohio, it is a felony to provide alcohol to a person under 21. The adult provider could face up to a year in jail and $3,000 in fines. The adult could also be sued for any injury or damage caused by the underage drinker.

Q: Why do some young people become depressed?
A: There are many reasons why teens get depressed, including rejection, abuse or low self-esteem. It's helpful to know that you and your parent can make a difference, because they can be a teen's most powerful teacher. This document includes signs of depression and tools to help you and your teen cope with it.

DON'T IGNORE THE WARNING SIGNS OF TEEN DEPRESSION:

• Irritability and troublesome behavior.
• A change in appetite or weight.
• Loss of interest in previously enjoyable activities.
• Always feeling tired or changes in sleeping habits.
• Wanting to be alone most of the time.
• Expressing feelings of helplessness, guilt, sadness or hopelessness.
• Feeling sad or hopeless.
• Skipping school or a sudden drop in grades.
• Reckless behavior involving alcohol, drugs or sexual activity.
• Suicidal thoughts or actions.

TOOLS TO HELP YOU AND YOUR PARENT COPE

• First, talk with your teen and let them know that you love them and are not angry or disappointed if they feel depressed.
  
• Be a good role model of how to deal with stress. Share alternatives that may include exercise, music, helping someone, talking out your stress, or artistic activities.
  
• Help him or her develop problem-solving skills. Encourage making plans, setting goals, and identifying options.
  
• Listen to your teen on a regular basis without criticizing his or her feelings.
  
• Don't tell a teen that "these are the best times of your life." A depressed teen may interpret this as "If this is the best it gets and it's such a struggle, why keep going?"
  
• Instead of brushing off your teen's concerns by saying, "Don't worry about it," demonstrate and suggest alternatives.
  
• Continue to nurture your teen after the crisis has passed.

Sometimes adolescents may be so depressed that they may not talk out their feelings with you. If you have concerns try the following resources: school counselor, social worker, or psychologist; your family doctor; or a mental health professional in your community.

Q: All my friends smoke, what is the big deal about it anyway?
A: A lot of false messages have developed about smoking. Knowing the myths and understanding the facts will help you think about "lighting up."

Myth - Smoking is cool.
Fact - Tobacco can cause bad breath, stained teeth, wheezing, coughing, phlegm, and always makes your hair and clothes smell bad. Therefore, smoking is not the road to popularity. The idea that "everybody's doing it" just doesn't apply to tobacco use. A nationwide survey in 1999 showed 82 out of 100 eighth-graders had not smoked a cigarette in the past 30 days. About 65% of high school seniors had not smoked in the same time period.

Myth - Smoking will help with weight loss.
Fact - Overall, smokers weigh less than non-smokers. However, smoking is not likely to cause visible changes in weight. Exercise is a healthier and longer lasting approach to weight loss.

Myth - Tobacco can't hurt young and healthy people.
Fact - Teenagers probably know that using tobacco can cause long-term illness like emphysema or cancer. They also need to know it reduces the lung's ability to function, making breathing really tough during exercise and athletics. Cigarettes also contain arsenic, ammonia, and formaldehyde - not very healthy!

Myth - Smoking and chewing are cheap habits
Fact - At an average of $3.00 per pack, a person who smokes a pack a day spends over $1000 per year on cigarettes. That would buy about 75 new CDs.

Myth - Quitting is easy
Fact - Twenty million people in the United States try to quit smoking each year. Only three percent are successful in the long term, according to the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services. Furthermore, young smokers do develop tolerance and dependence the same as adult smokers.

Q: I want to talk to my parents about sex, how do I start the conversation? What should we discuss?
A: Sex is a tough issue for parents to discuss with teens. Yet, teens wish parents would be more open and talk about sexual activity. As a teen, your parent is the first and most powerful teacher, by what they say and what they do. When given an opportunity to talk to your parent about sex, you might open the discussion by saying "I'm glad we listened to the words of that CD" or "I'm glad you saw that movie because I've been wanting to talk to you about sex and I didn't know how to bring it up."

HOW TO GET STARTED ON THE TOPIC OF SEX:

• Be open that you are uncomfortable talking about sex. They, too, are probably just as embarrassed.
• Reassure your adolescent that your wanting to talk about sex doesn't mean that you think they are sexually active.
• Keep it a discussion, not a lecture.
• Let them know that you will answer their questions or make arrangements for them to talk to another adult if they choose that option.
• Tell him or her that it is important to make good decisions and choices based on several factors.

Talking about sex is not just a review of body parts and their functions. It is very important to discuss family values and religious beliefs. Let your teen know that talking about sex is not the same as giving permission. Help your teen understand that oral sex and sexual intercourse can spread sexually transmitted infections. Both have emotional impacts. Bring up the risks and health concerns such as pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections. Discuss building romantic relationships, developing self-respect, peer pressure, drugs and alcohol. Talk about how they relate to and influence your teen's decisions about sexual activity.

Q: Which sex acts could result in pregnancy? Which will not?
A: As a general rule, sexual intercourse (genital-to-genital penetration) between a guy and a girl is necessary for pregnancy to occur. Proper use of birth control can dramatically reduce the chances that sexual intercourse will lead to pregnancy, but no form of birth control is 100% guaranteed.

The following activities could (theoretically) cause pregnancy:

• Intercourse (with or without protection)
• Any contact between the female genital area and male sperm or pre-ejaculatory fluid
• Anal sex (if any sperm makes contact with female genital area)

The following activities will not (ever) cause pregnancy:

• Abstinence
• Holding hands
• Dancing
• Kissing
• Heavy petting or making out with clothing on
• Making out in a hot tub or swimming pool
• Oral sex
• Touching of genitals with hands
• Homosexual relations

Q: When are teens ready to date?
A: At some point in adolescence most American teens begin to date. This is an important and personal decision. Continued discussion within your family will help you feel more certain about when you should start dating. First, what does dating mean to you and your teen? You may have very different definitions. Is dating in a group or with only the couple?
Should age of the other youth matter? Research finds that girls who date men that are much older are more likely to use drugs and alcohol and to engage in early sexual behavior.

Here are a few tips for helping parents and teens discuss dating:

• Know whom your teen is dating.
• Know where your teen is going on a date and what they plan to do.
• Set guidelines for where, when, and how often your teen goes on dates.
• Don't jump to conclusions about what dating means. Dating does not equal sex.
• Be clear about your family rules on dating. Clarify how you would feel if the relationship was serious, or if you dislike the person your teen is seeing.

Teens often have questions about dating and intimate relationships. Help your teen understand that healthy relationships are based on trust and caring. Being able to identify and be in healthy relationships is a very important skill. Remember, teens fall in love often and intensely, so listen to them and try not judging their relationships. Dating can help build self-esteem, can help teens figure out who they are, and can teach social skills.

For more information, visit www.extension.umn.edu.

Website/Technical Issues:

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Q: How old do I have to be to use the website?
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Q: Where can I review TeenlineOhio's Terms and Conditions?
A: Follow this link to our Terms and Conditions page.

Q: Your website is awesome! Can I link to your site? Will you link to mine?
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